The medium makes the music?

I was thinking about all the music I have devoured and loved over the course of the first 46 years on this planet. I got to remembering the old record stores, (like the one I worked at in Daytona Beach when I was 18) the CD big box stores and the advent of Napster. I really see a correlation (a complete generalization mind you) between the medium the music was delivered on and the status of the music industry and very essence of the music creation machine itself.

Go with me if you will. In the late sixties and seventies we had vinyl. Black and rich with large canvases for musical works and graphics. The large space and dark rich texture of that medium seem to be infused into the creations of the times. Warm and dark recordings made in small places with history and tradition and devotion to the muse. Abbey Road, Hitsville, the Record Plant and others. Dark and deep and full of sounds and wonder. Think about the music we love from that time regardless of genre and maybe you can see what I mean.

Then came 8tracks and cassettes. The first ever truly portable music. For the first time we would only listen to something until WE were done doing something ELSE at the same time - driving somewhere. For the first time we did not allow the records to dictate our time spent with them, but we controlled them and set them to a backseat. I believe this changed how music was conceived and created.

When the hard and shiny plastic of CDs became the medium we got hard shiny plastic music. Calculated by some bean counter in a high rise to extract the most dollars out of consumers. Hard and cold and digital. So often, with no soul and no connection just like the new heads of labels who were no longer really music fans and record men, but accountants and lawyers.

Then came the Internet age and now we have bits. Digital pieces scattered all over the world which represents the exact state of the industry. Scattered all over the place, stylistically, economically and while completely accessible, no longer a collective social experience. Millions of songs made by millions of people, mostly available online. Some are great expressions of art like back in the glory days of vinyl and some are calculated and cold like the CD era. It's up to you to discover them and make your own mind up.

I don't long for the past at all. In fact I have found and enjoyed more new music in the last 8 years than in the previous 20. Not as formative or classic, but then again I am not a teenager or even under 30. It's o.k. We are were we are and in a lot of ways it is back to the very earliest days of recorded music, with little known about the future of distribution or monetary compensation. It's all about the music again I hope.

Some day some way

As the annual reminder of my chronology on this planet approaches I am remembering mostly the last several of them. Not so much my times as a child or adolescent or even young adult, thought they were fun. Probably most especially since my celebrations were in the heart of the summer and involved pool parties and beach fun in Florida.

No, I am thinking about how many years in the recent past I declared I would accomplish a weight loss goal or measureable health improvement before the big day. Hasn't happened yet in my 40s and this year I am taking a different approach (not all of my own accord mind you). I am simply looking at this birthday as another day I get to do the right thing to take a small step in the right direction. Takes a lot of pressure off.

It has been said that "small things done consistently produce large results, and great things done inconsistently produce little results" or something like that.

Its so very true of our natural life in this flesh. You cannot lose 40 pounds in a week. you cannot plant a seed 2 days before harvest and expect to get anything. If you have a year to dig a pool and wait to start 4 days before the deadline hoping to do incredible things you will fail. Period.

So... I am seeking to live in that place of small things, done daily to improve my health, my mind and my emotions.

the madness in the music

My day is sometimes steered by the music I wake up with in my head. That happens a lot by the way. Maybe I'm a touch OCD (of course I am).

Anyway last week it was a strange Gordon Lightfoot morning which went from "Rainy Day People" through "If you could read my mind" and on and on ( he had a lot of songs which I could actually remember - probably my age). So my day was a very mellow northernly canadianish kind of day.
AND... I heard 2 of his songs on XM radio in the car that day! Coincidence?

What is it that you wake up with in your head and why? I remember one time I dreamed about the greatest song I had ever composed and my kids were all playing instruments with me. It was out of this world fantastic and cool and when I woke up I could not remember a single note!!! aaggghh why does that happen?

So I'm posing the question, does the music make your mood or your mood choose the music you sing in your head? or could it be both?

it only takes 1

after surviving the back 9 holes of a nice state park course yesterday in 90 degree weather and what felt like 100% humidity, I understand the need to hold on and try to finish strong. Its honestly so much more the mental game than the physical one and that is true of life I am finding.

I think it might be easier if you have accomplished something major earlier on. I mean, I totally believe in late bloomers and folks who may not have set the world on fire before age 50 still having as legitimate a shot as a 20 something, but....

I am seeing a pattern, at least in the media, and maybe that doesn't fit with real life, but the pattern is there. So many folks have had one success and they ride that thing for 10,20,40 years!!! One hit song, one hit show, one idea, one invention, one great or at least popular anything can be parlayed into a long term cash cow. Look at MC Hammer. My God the guy has new TV show and the only thing in the previews are one hit song from 30 years ago (WHICH WAS SOMEONE ELSES MUSIC NO LESS!!!!).

So do I want to be MC Hammer. God no. But I do take some small comfort in the fact that just one success have a very long tail.

I still believe

Did you ever hear that song by the Call? I remember when it came out how good it made me feel.

I was probably initially drawn to the lyric by the performance. I mean I love the passion with which Michael Been stated his belief and I did identify with the lyric primarily about standing for Christ when all others have faded.

But like all great art, the song began to transcend one level meaning and highlight and inform other areas of my heart and mind. And I came back to it today. I'm hearing it in my head as I type.

Why? I had a lunch today with someone of very great insight who looked me in the eye, when I had just gotten done renouncing myself and my talents (too old, not good enough etc.) and he said in essence "I still believe". He believes in me.

What that does to your soul cannot be overstated.

I left that table a renewed person. Find someone you know who needs to hear it and tell them
you still believe in them. Their callings, their gifts, their talent, their trustworthyness.

It will be good. Then sing the old Call song with me
" I'll march this road, I'll clime this hill
upon my knees if I have to
I'll take my place upon this stage"

yea.... believe

going down swinging

We've heard that metaphor before for business ventures and other ventures. In my case I like to take it a bit more literally.

Facing the collapse of a very heartbreaking business venture, I decided to go out and play golf for a couple of days and see how that feels. Not answering the partner calls, just out with friends trying to enjoy life for a couple of days to put the death struggle into perspective.

It certainly didn't bring a dime into the business (or my pocket), but I feel a little more relaxed and ready to face the brutal reality of running out of fuel for a business and all that entails. Not pretty or fun, which is why I guess I wanted to go down swinging.

The Inertia of bad decisions

Ok. We all make bad decisions. everyday. Its just that sometimes a bad decision maybe followed by another few can be costly for years and years. I'm not talking about something as heavy as a bad marriage necessarily. Could be an impulse purchase. Could be a choice of which way to drive home.

I've noticed something happens when you finally begin to accept you made a terrible decision.

Nothing.

What I'm saying is that there is a malaise and an indifference to getting off the couch that can set in when you begin to finally accept what a bad choice you made. You didn't HAVE to go into business with that person. You didn't HAVE to make that call or write that email. But, with or without consideration or counsel you did. And after the period of time (it could be years) when you have thrashed enough about trying to prove that you did NOT make a mistake, you give up a bit, for a while.

and that is so often when you find it difficult to move forward. The inability to push out of the rut. I suppose it could rightly be linked to depression, but even when you aren't clinically depressed, you feel stuck.

so you read the sports sites or gossip sites a lot longer than you need to. you play solitaire. it becomes like worry beads for you, except you really have checked your mind out also.

This is not good. you need to get up and go - just more carefully mabye. Maybe the slowdown is your mind's way of saying "hey, last time I let you do something, you screwed up!".

I don't know. I know I wrote this blog today so I could avoid working to solve my other problems, just for a little bit.

Frenemies

Its very weird when people who you have eaten with, drank with and suffered with on great victories for years suddenly turn on you. Divergent needs and perceptions can lead to such heartache and angst. It is like a bad diagnosis. You react with denial, anger, sadness and on and on. What a waste of energy!

These are people you laughed and cried with, and promised to take care of each others kids if anything happened.

Where is blame? "Didn't you promise to such and such?" "you agreed you wouldn't .....!"

Its one of those days where the human relationships seem not to be worth it. Give me a dog or cat today. They may be demanding, but not demeaning.

Help me understand, why this happens.

wisdom is proven by her children

sometimes you make a decision which you didn't want to have to make, but you finally were uncomfortable enough with the status quo to actually do something about it. Then you worry and fret and even whine to your friends and spouse and others that maybe this is a mistake. The pain you have come to accept is a comforting blanket which keeps you from having to deal with your destiny and what it will really take to get there.

So you start to bargain in your mind and then you feel foolish about that but you really can't see how such a drastic decision could be right. Maybe its not fair to the other parties it will affect? Maybe it will bring terrrible consequences? What if, what if, what if????

Then the very reason you had to finally make that decision does you a truly good favor and rears its foolish head in ways you probably didn't even consider when you made the decision to move on, or move forward or change things. Then wisdom prevails and you realize that yes, you did a wise thing by making the hard decision, because that person, place or thing which has caused so much harm will finally be out of your life and you will have the scars to help you remember and not make that same mistake again.

its extremely hard to trade the current, now comfortable pain for God knows what is coming. But once you start the process you will feel better. Trust me.